Here's to us
Updated: Aug 11, 2018
How do you be okay?
It’s a hard question to answer isn’t it? Truth is I don’t think anyway can answer that for us. When do you stop lying in the dark contemplating life? When do you stop overthinking every situation you’ve been in and every word you have said? When do you stop feeling guilty for something you haven’t even done? Or for something that really wouldn’t be looked twice at? When do you stop feeling embarrassed for being you, for being the same as everyone but adding excess? How do you stop your belly from turning and churning? How do you stop feeling so sick with worry and nerves? How do you stop your heart from dropping out your ass hole every morning when you wake to realise ‘it’s’ still there? When you realise it’s not gone away overnight and you have another whole day to get through? When do you start having the motivation to cook a big full of nutrition meal every day for your children and yourself? When do you stop feeling exhausted? When are you able to handle a stressful situation with ease? When do you stop feeling like this and start to feel okay?
I guess you don’t, I guess ‘it’s’ here to stay, I guess you find a way to control ‘it’! I guess you practice and learn ways that work for you to be able to sit comfortable with your feelings, I guess you confront it, I guess you notice you are feeling the way you do and you face it. I guess you try every coping method there is, I guess you try every medication until you find the one, I guess you try doing the things you enjoy a little more, I guess you learn to jump the small hurdles first so you can start to jump the bigger ones. I guess you are you, I guess you are ok, I guess you just have a little bit more of a difficult time when it comes to nerves, worry, sadness, embarrassment, nausea, I guess we aren’t wired up to deal with feelings people deal with every day, I guess our middle name is EXCESSIVE. I guess we are us and we aren’t different, I guess we just face a battle and I guess we will learn to be ok, I guess although we feel we shouldn’t have to work to be ok, I guess we feel we should just be like every one else. But I guess, eventually we will sit comfortably with a sudden rush of panic and worry, I guess one day we will be bale to look it in the face and say ‘’sorry, not today’’ and I guess then we will carry on with our day or the activity we were doing. And well I guess that’s just okay and that is how you be okay?
Here’s to some hard work, but here’s to beautiful outcomes. Here’s to the beautiful destinations we will reach. Here’s to all the rocky paths we will go on, here’s to all the up’s and down’s and here’s to us, here’s to us finding what’s right for us, here’s to finding something that works for us. Here’s to listing 4 things you see, 3 things you feel, 1 thing you taste, 1 thing you smell in the middle of the supermarket. Here’s to doing us.
Lots of love xo